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Old 19th October 2008 , 03:51 AM
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Angry House Music.....is it Dead?

House music no longer seems to be commercially viable, does any one agree with me? im sick of it now as you can tell by my rant, every one wants R&B (and not even real R&B), pop, cheese etc. people seem to no longer appreciate House unless specifically involved in it i.e Dj/Producer. Where can you see House music in the future say 10 years or even 5, all the jobs being offered to me are those playing an extremely varied mix of genres and worst of all i get the line "it doesn't even have to be mixed well in terms of technicality, just make sure you got all the tracks!" So all you fellow House Dj's what's your predictions for us?
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Old 19th October 2008 , 08:42 AM
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Simple Adam Smith economics. If the market doesn't want it the privders don't last very long. Get over it.
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Old 19th October 2008 , 12:43 PM
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A customer enters a record store.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this House Music what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Progressive House...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, it's uh,...it's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead dance music sub-genre when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable genre, House Music, isn'it, ay? Beautiful 4 to the floor beats!

Mr. Praline: The beats don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! It's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! (placing the CD in the tray) 'Ello, Sasha! I've got a lovely fresh piece of Balearic House for you if you show...

(owner hits the CD)

Owner: There, it moved you!

Mr. Praline: No, it didn't, that was you cutting in a bit of John Digweed !!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the decks repeatedly) 'ELLO HOUSE MUSIC!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your Sunday, 9AM alarm call!

(Takes CD out of the player and thumps it on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead dance music genre.

Owner: No, no.....No, it's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was wakin' up! House music stuns easily, major. Especially when played by Armand Van Helden

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That genre is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged session on the decks.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for disco.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for DISCO?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home and shoved it in my Pioneer CDJ?

Owner: House music prefers keepin' you on it's back! Remarkable genre, id'nit, squire? Lovely chord progressions!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that CD when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been remotely successful in the first place was that it had been force fed to an unsuspecting public back in the mid 90's!!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was! If it hadn't pummeled the nations dance floors with chest thumping beats, it would have nuzzled up to those dancers, bent 'em apart with its 808 kick drum, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this genre wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! It's pining!

Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This genre is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet it's maker! it's a stiff! Bereft of life, It rests in peace! If you hadn't bludgeoned the dance masses with it's disco-esque leanings and pulsing hi-hats It'd be pushing up the daisies! It's anabolic steroid processes are now 'istory! It's off the decks! It's been kicked off the play lists, It's shuffled off it's mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined Juan Atkins' bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-GENRE!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of dance music genre's.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got some hardbag.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it get my feet tappin'?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
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Old 19th October 2008 , 12:44 PM
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LOL - did you have a clubbing horror story last night as well?

We went to a place that normally does really good electro house sets - and what do I find - some ***** playing a really bad R&B set in the main house and some dodgy breaks/electro/DnB mash outside

Actually the set outside wasnt to bad except he was all over the place.


(In case you hadnt figured it out - I utterly loathe R&B and Hiphop etc).
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Old 19th October 2008 , 12:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Failed Muso View Post
A customer enters a record store.
....
LMAO
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Old 19th October 2008 , 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sureno View Post
House music no longer seems to be commercially viable, does any one agree with me?
It seems to be the trend really...a genre becomes massively popular...so many acts come out with a similar sound, people get tired of it...a genre becomes massively popular...

I think House is not dead yet but even if it was the case there are other splinter genres that are similar -ish, so House may never completely go away...not just yet anyway IMO. I still think it is commercially viable.
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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:13 PM
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Modz1 i recieved you email notification but where is your post Failed muso have you seen some one about your "other" personality there where the hell did that come from and what is the bit at the end about and the miss bit and Trev your usual pessimistic reply i see Khazul i think im in the same boat as you, i love house music and i hated my set this weekend as everyone was asking for shite.
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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sureno View Post
Modz1 i recieved you email notification but where is your post Failed muso have you seen some one about your "other" personality there where the hell did that come from and what is the bit at the end about and the miss bit and Trev your usual pessimistic reply i see Khazul i think im in the same boat as you, i love house music and i hated my set this weekend as everyone was asking for shite.
You've never seen the Monty Python "Dead Parrot" sketch ???

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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:27 PM
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LMAO NO!!! thats one thing i was neglected with while i grew up, iv never actually seen monty python stuff i thought your mad
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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Failed Muso View Post
A customer enters a record store.
VERY CLEVER

Quote:
Originally Posted by sureno View Post
House music no longer seems to be commercially viable, does any one agree with me?
They've been saying 'Jazz is dead' for years but it won't go away.
Frank Zappa:
Quote:
Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.
Maybe House music is in a way a victim of it's own success. As a genre becomes mainstream popular you inevitably get people jumping on the bandwagon who claim to be 'in to it' but never really listen to the real music of the genre. Jazz sometimes becomes 'popular' but mostly in the kind way that a twenty-something prat suddenly gets major airtime and labelled as 'jazz' even though he is really a pop singer who plays half decent jazzy piano.

Saxman:
Quote:
House music is not dead, it just tastes funny.
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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:29 PM
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I like that one saxman, "House is not dead, it just smells funny" may have to put that in my sig with your permission
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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:33 PM
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Modz1 you said something about the "yoof" in the uk, i think they are more concerned with listening to whats "cool" than actually appreciating good music and what they may actually like it's annoying. i am opened enough to accept if music sounds good to me i am mature enough to say i like it from classical to rock the "yoof" seems to be hung up on if i listen to whats cool im cool mentality
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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:37 PM
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Quote:
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I like that one saxman, "House is not dead, it just smells funny" may have to put that in my sig with your permission
You can use it if you like but I wrote "it just tastes funny" to slightly re-work the famous Zappa quote.
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Old 19th October 2008 , 02:42 PM
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Quote:
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You can use it if you like but I wrote "it just tastes funny" to slightly re-work the famous Zappa quote.
sorry my bad, "House music is not dead, it just tastes funny" it is, got my morning head on
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